Drop #005 — Side Hustle: Sitting (Self-Declared, Class B) | Decreased Value Co.

Document classification

Self-Declared Occupation Form 1099-S. The holder has declared their primary side occupation as Sitting. The Bureau of Universal Basic Living has accepted this declaration. Allocation: sufficient.

What it means when you wear it

You have filed. The state has stamped. The state's records reflect that you are, in fact, sitting. The state has no further questions.

Conditions of issuance

Holder retains all rights to remain seated. Open all day. Allocation: sufficient.

Fulfillment

Printed individually when ordered. Production 2-5 business days. Ships 3-7 days domestic, 10-21 international. See refund policy for defects and sizing variance. Issued by Decreased Value Co. — a subsidiary of the Bureau of Universal Basic Living, Department of Decreased Expectations.

Size & fit (Gildan 18500 Heavy Blend Hoodie)

Heavy 50/50 cotton-poly blend, classic fit. Runs true to size.