{"product_id":"department-of-decreased-expectations-decreased-value-co","title":"Drop #019 — Department of Decreased Expectations | Decreased Value Co.","description":"\u003ch3\u003eDocument classification\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cp\u003eOfficial seal of the Department of Decreased Expectations. Federal agency, established 2027. Mission: to administer the systematic lowering of citizen expectations to match the available allocation. Funded entirely by remaining optimism.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch3\u003eWhat it means when you wear it\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cp\u003eYou are aligned with the Department. Your expectations have been administratively lowered. The match between hope and reality has been improved at the source. The Bureau finds you compliant.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch3\u003eConditions of issuance\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cp\u003eHolder may not raise their expectations without filing Form ER-22 (Expectation Recalibration Request). Allocation: matched.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch3\u003eFulfillment\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cp\u003ePrinted individually when ordered. Production 2-5 business days. Ships 3-7 days domestic, 10-21 international. Decreased Value Co.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eSize \u0026amp; fit (Gildan 18500 Heavy Blend Hoodie)\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003ctable class=\"dvc-sizing\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth\u003eSize\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth\u003eChest (in)\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth\u003eLength (in)\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eS\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e20\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e27\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eM\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e22\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e28\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e24\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e29\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eXL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e26\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e30\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e2XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e28\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e31\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eHeavy 50\/50 cotton-poly blend, classic fit. Runs true to size.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Decreased Value Co.","offers":[{"title":"S","offer_id":49231538487538,"sku":null,"price":49.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M","offer_id":49231538520306,"sku":null,"price":49.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L","offer_id":49231538553074,"sku":null,"price":49.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL","offer_id":49231538585842,"sku":null,"price":49.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":49231538618610,"sku":null,"price":49.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0831\/4801\/3810\/files\/department-of-decreased-expectations-decreased-value-co.jpg?v=1779165057","url":"https:\/\/decreasedvalue.myshopify.com\/products\/department-of-decreased-expectations-decreased-value-co","provider":"Decreased Value Co.","version":"1.0","type":"link"}