Drop #019 — Department of Decreased Expectations | Decreased Value Co.
Drop #019 — Department of Decreased Expectations | Decreased Value Co.
Document classification
Official seal of the Department of Decreased Expectations. Federal agency, established 2027. Mission: to administer the systematic lowering of citizen expectations to match the available allocation. Funded entirely by remaining optimism.
What it means when you wear it
You are aligned with the Department. Your expectations have been administratively lowered. The match between hope and reality has been improved at the source. The Bureau finds you compliant.
Conditions of issuance
Holder may not raise their expectations without filing Form ER-22 (Expectation Recalibration Request). Allocation: matched.
Fulfillment
Printed individually when ordered. Production 2-5 business days. Ships 3-7 days domestic, 10-21 international. Decreased Value Co.
Size & fit (Gildan 18500 Heavy Blend Hoodie)
| Size | Chest (in) | Length (in) |
|---|---|---|
| S | 20 | 27 |
| M | 22 | 28 |
| L | 24 | 29 |
| XL | 26 | 30 |
| 2XL | 28 | 31 |
Heavy 50/50 cotton-poly blend, classic fit. Runs true to size.