{"title":"For The Tired","description":"\u003cp\u003eCurated for the chronically exhausted. Filed under: burnout, tired moms, parking-lot tears, indefinite PTO. Allocation: insufficient.\u003c\/p\u003e","products":[{"product_id":"emotionally-on-pto-t-shirt-anti-hustle-co","title":"Drop #001 — Emotionally On PTO (Form 1019-E) | Decreased Value Co.","description":"\u003ch3\u003eDocument classification\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cp\u003eApproved Emotional Leave Allocation. Status: Indefinite. Non-transferable. Issued by the Bureau of Universal Basic Living, Department of Decreased Expectations.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch3\u003eWhat it means when you wear it\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cp\u003eYou have filed Form 1019-E. The Bureau has reviewed your application and determined that yes, you are out of office emotionally, and yes, this is now your operating status until further notice.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch3\u003eConditions of issuance\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cp\u003eHolder retains all rights to look exhausted in any setting. Holder is not required to explain. Holder's allocation is sufficient.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch3\u003eFulfillment\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cp\u003ePrinted individually when ordered. Production 2-5 business days. Ships 3-7 days domestic, 10-21 international. See \u003ca href=\"\/policies\/refund-policy\"\u003erefund policy\u003c\/a\u003e for defects and sizing variance. Issued by Decreased Value Co. — a subsidiary of the Bureau of Universal Basic Living, Department of Decreased Expectations.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eSize \u0026amp; fit (Bella+Canvas 3001 Unisex)\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003ctable class=\"dvc-sizing\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth\u003eSize\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth\u003eChest (in)\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth\u003eLength (in)\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eS\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e34-37\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e28\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eM\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e38-41\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e29\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e42-45\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e30\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eXL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e46-49\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e31\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e2XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e50-53\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e32\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eSoft ringspun cotton, modern unisex fit. If between sizes, size up.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Decreased Value Co.","offers":[{"title":"S","offer_id":49229550846194,"sku":"5356973","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"M","offer_id":49229550878962,"sku":"9036349","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"L","offer_id":49229550911730,"sku":"5681117","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"XL","offer_id":49229550944498,"sku":"8111829","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":49229550977266,"sku":"4030291","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0831\/4801\/3810\/files\/emotionally-on-pto-t-shirt-anti-hustle-co.jpg?v=1779165085"},{"product_id":"hustle-culture-funeral-hoodie-anti-hustle-co","title":"Drop #008 — Hustle Culture Funeral (Services Rendered) | Decreased Value Co.","description":"\u003ch3\u003eDocument classification\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cp\u003eForm HCF-1: Memorial Certificate. The Bureau acknowledges the cessation of Hustle Culture, officially recorded as terminated between 2009 and 2024. Allocation has lapsed. Services have been rendered. The era is, for the official record, concluded.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch3\u003eWhat it means when you wear it\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cp\u003eYou are formally in mourning. Working weekends is dead. The state recognizes this. The hoodie commemorates the deceased period. Move on, citizen.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch3\u003eConditions of issuance\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cp\u003eHolder may decline weekend requests citing this memorial. Allocation: sufficient.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch3\u003eFulfillment\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cp\u003ePrinted individually when ordered. Production 2-5 business days. Ships 3-7 days domestic, 10-21 international. See \u003ca href=\"\/policies\/refund-policy\"\u003erefund policy\u003c\/a\u003e for defects and sizing variance. Issued by Decreased Value Co. — a subsidiary of the Bureau of Universal Basic Living, Department of Decreased Expectations.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eSize \u0026amp; fit (Gildan 18500 Heavy Blend Hoodie)\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003ctable class=\"dvc-sizing\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth\u003eSize\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth\u003eChest (in)\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth\u003eLength (in)\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eS\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e20\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e27\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eM\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e22\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e28\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e24\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e29\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eXL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e26\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e30\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e2XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e28\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e31\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eHeavy 50\/50 cotton-poly blend, classic fit. Runs true to size.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Decreased Value Co.","offers":[{"title":"S","offer_id":49229552255218,"sku":"3210453","price":49.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"M","offer_id":49229552287986,"sku":"1032326","price":49.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"L","offer_id":49229552320754,"sku":"8816255","price":49.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"XL","offer_id":49229552353522,"sku":"4030335","price":49.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":49229552386290,"sku":"6988673","price":49.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0831\/4801\/3810\/files\/hustle-culture-funeral-hoodie-anti-hustle-co.jpg?v=1779165113"},{"product_id":"crying-in-the-parking-lot-womens-t-shirt-anti-hustle-co","title":"Drop #013 — Crying In The Parking Lot (Tuesday) — Memorial | Decreased Value Co.","description":"\u003ch3\u003eDocument classification\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cp\u003eMemorial Plaque, Tuesday Edition. The Bureau acknowledges the specific Tuesday afternoon that broke you. The location is recorded. The date is filed. Allocation: insufficient.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch3\u003eWhat it means when you wear it\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe Tuesday is commemorated. The parking lot remembers. The state has been informed. The plaque has been issued. You are not alone — this form is widely distributed.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch3\u003eConditions of issuance\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cp\u003eHolder may cry in any parking lot, retroactively. The Bureau understands.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch3\u003eFulfillment\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cp\u003ePrinted individually when ordered. Production 2-5 business days. Ships 3-7 days domestic, 10-21 international. See \u003ca href=\"\/policies\/refund-policy\"\u003erefund policy\u003c\/a\u003e for defects and sizing variance. Issued by Decreased Value Co. — a subsidiary of the Bureau of Universal Basic Living, Department of Decreased Expectations.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eSize \u0026amp; fit (Bella+Canvas 6400 Women's Relaxed)\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003ctable class=\"dvc-sizing\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth\u003eSize\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth\u003eChest (in)\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth\u003eLength (in)\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eS\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e33-34\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e26\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eM\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e35-36\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e26.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e37-39\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e27\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eXL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e40-42\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e28\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e2XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e43-46\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e28.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eSoft cotton, relaxed-cut women's fit. If between sizes, size down for body-skimming, up for loose.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Decreased Value Co.","offers":[{"title":"S","offer_id":49230230061298,"sku":null,"price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M","offer_id":49230230094066,"sku":null,"price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L","offer_id":49230230126834,"sku":null,"price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL","offer_id":49230230159602,"sku":null,"price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":49230230192370,"sku":null,"price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0831\/4801\/3810\/files\/crying-in-the-parking-lot-womens-t-shirt-anti-hustle-co.jpg?v=1779164901"},{"product_id":"yes-im-tired-stop-asking-womens-t-shirt-anti-hustle-co","title":"Drop #016 — Yes I'm Tired, Stop Asking (Form 1099-T) | Decreased Value Co.","description":"\u003ch3\u003eDocument classification\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cp\u003eForm 1099-T: Filed Status Update. The Bureau has received the holder's formal declaration. The status is filed. Further inquiries are not necessary. Allocation: insufficient (this is filed too).\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch3\u003eWhat it means when you wear it\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cp\u003eYou filed. The form was stamped. The state has the record. Nobody needs to ask anymore. This shirt is the answer.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch3\u003eConditions of issuance\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cp\u003eHolder may point to this shirt instead of speaking. Allocation: insufficient.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch3\u003eFulfillment\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cp\u003ePrinted individually when ordered. Production 2-5 business days. Ships 3-7 days domestic, 10-21 international. See \u003ca href=\"\/policies\/refund-policy\"\u003erefund policy\u003c\/a\u003e for defects and sizing variance. Issued by Decreased Value Co. — a subsidiary of the Bureau of Universal Basic Living, Department of Decreased Expectations.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eSize \u0026amp; fit (Bella+Canvas 6400 Women's Relaxed)\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003ctable class=\"dvc-sizing\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth\u003eSize\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth\u003eChest (in)\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth\u003eLength (in)\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eS\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e33-34\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e26\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eM\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e35-36\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e26.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e37-39\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e27\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eXL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e40-42\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e28\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e2XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e43-46\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e28.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eSoft cotton, relaxed-cut women's fit. If between sizes, size down for body-skimming, up for loose.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Decreased Value Co.","offers":[{"title":"S","offer_id":49230230880498,"sku":null,"price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M","offer_id":49230230913266,"sku":null,"price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L","offer_id":49230230946034,"sku":null,"price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL","offer_id":49230230978802,"sku":null,"price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":49230231011570,"sku":null,"price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0831\/4801\/3810\/files\/yes-im-tired-stop-asking-womens-t-shirt-anti-hustle-co.jpg?v=1779165719"}],"url":"https:\/\/decreasedvalue.myshopify.com\/collections\/for-the-tired.oembed","provider":"Decreased Value Co.","version":"1.0","type":"link"}